He was my extrovert

Talking to someone at work today, I noted that Karl had been my extrovert. And as an introvert it was hard for me to got out and mingle - especially with strangers. It's funny, I hadn't ever really noticed how much Karl helped me to be sociable and how he pushed me to move out of my comfort zone. It's hard to take over that function on my own.

I recently attended a meeting of a digital photography club and it was all I could do to force myself to get in my car and go even though I had been planning to go for a couple of months. Of course, I had to think about it for two months before getting in the car was even a possibility. It will be good for me to start getting out and do social activities; I can't sit home and cry forever. But taking that first step was harder than I thought it would be.

But it got me to thinking about the nature of relationships. We need to have people in our lives who are brave when we are fearful or who are responsible when we are carefree or who are funny when we are too serious. The most successful relationships I have ever seen are those where each partner brings different strengths to the partnership. Of course when that relationship is broken through death, we suddenly realize how much that person was doing that we found difficult.

So even though it's hard and even though I didn't want to do it, gradually I've come to realize that the grief process is also a growth process. You have to tackle those weak parts of yourself that you were able to pass off to the other person before. I'm a stronger, more compassionate person for having been in this place.